As I watched the most recent interview with Portia De Rossi (now Portia DeGeneres) on Oprah, discussing her memoir "Unbearable Lightness", I couldn't believe how much of what she said resonated so deeply within me. I have never struggled with an eating disorder, but I have struggled and still do at times, with feelings of deep shame, regarding the way, I believe, God made me. I don't know how to cut and paste portions of you tube videos or embed them for that matter, but here goes...If it works properly, in minutes 2-6 of the below video, Portia captures the heart of my adolescent life. Sadly, my journey toward freedom did not even begin until I turned 30.
Try as I might,I have never quite been normal. Nothing about my life has ever fit any kind of mold. But, as I get older and ever slightly wiser ;) I am learning that even though many people do not understand me and certainly can't begin to comprehend the complexities that make up this person that I am and will continue to become, I understand her and I accept her and hopefully those that matter most to me will eventually follow suit.
The following song called Travelin Through, was written by one of my favorite people in the world - Dolly Parton! She wrote it for an extraordinary movie called "Transamerica." This song captures exactly where I am in my journey this day...I hope it speaks to so many of you, the way it did me on this beautiful Sunday morning.
As the song says - I’m out here on my journey, just trying to make the most of it. I’m a puzzle. I must figure out where all my pieces fit. I’m just a weary pilgrim trying to find what feels like home. Where that is no one can tell me...Am I doomed to ever roam?
Questions I have many. Answers but a few. We’ve all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree. God made me for a reason and nothing is in vain…Redemption comes in many shapes with many kinds of pain. Oh sweet Jesus, if you’re listenin (and I know you are)* keep me ever close to you…as I’m stumbling, tumbling, wandering…as I’m travelin through.
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